Follow the Portaloo

Last week, while driving to my parents’ house I got stuck behind a truck holding some digging equipment and a portaloo (portable toilet). I considered going around the truck but noticed that the portaloo’s door was facing sideways and the door kept on half opening whenever the truck took the corners.

I decided to stay behind and wait until the road divided up ahead and hoped that the portaloo would go one way and I the other. All of at the cars behind me did not take the same decision and immediately changed lanes, passing the portaloo before changing back again.

I thought, am I making the wrong decision sitting back here. Is everyone else right and I’m wrong? They are taking a big risk there with that door opening all the time. As I sat behind I considered portaloo rules. Yes, I have some experience with portaloos, I had one in my front yard for over a year when we renovated years ago. Apart from remembering that they were very expensive to hire, I remembered that they were delivered clean. Now is this portaloo being delivered or returned? (I have a 50/50 chance.) I also know that someone comes to collect the waste and clean the toilet once a week; surely it would have to be cleaned before being returned! The Department of Roads and Transport would insist that the only portaloos travelling on our roads must be clean ones.

I decided that I had a 100% chance that were that portaloo to fall off the back of the truck, my car would possibly be crushed but at least it wouldn’t have poo on it!

I tend to make portaloo-type decisions all the time when I drive. If I see a bad driver up ahead, I’d rather hang back and so that I can see what they’re doing rather than try to overtake because I worry that they will do something weird in the moment I’m beside them, like drift into my lane, or if I’ve already overtaken them, they might drive into the back of me.

I’m risk-averse, but I don’t know which strategy is better. I believe most people will overtake. What would you do?

(While I’ve been typing this up, the word predictor thing keeps changing my portaloos to portals, even when I say, no I don’t want portals, they say, yes you do! I suppose they are portals in a way. Portal could become a more grown-up way of saying portaloo. If I used portals though I don’t think this story would have any humour in it at all!)

If it is possible, I dedicate this post to Don Tillman, the hero in the novel The Rosie Project, the man who made odd cool!

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6 thoughts on “Follow the Portaloo

  1. I’m with you 8Grapes. If I was driving a car I would wait behind the portaloo too. Better safe than sorry. My computer just change “portaloo” to “portal” and has done it twice now. I do detest computers that think they know best about spelling. If I can find a way to turn the spell check off on my computer I will – it is soooo annoying. As to portals – that word sounds like science fiction which led me to thinking: “a portaloo (this computer has noticed I do not like my spelling being checked and has left “portaloo” alone this time). Where was I? Right! “A portaloo falls off a truck on to 8Grapes car as she is passing it, but it doesn’t smash the car or do any damage and 8grapes goes through a magic portal into …? Now where would you end up should that sort of mysterious accident happen I wonder?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Maureen, I read your comment while eating, and I almost threw up with laughter! (Is that why my mum tells me not to eat while I’m reading?) Hey, we can have portaloo story part 2 – Beyond the Portaloo. I can see it now.

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      • Hi 8Grapes – have only just come across your reply to my comment so sorry for the delay in replying. I cannot think of a Portaloo Part 2 story at present as I keep thinking of the Australian film that I think was called Kenny. It was a very funny film about the trials and tribulations of a bloke and his dad who hired out portaloos. (This wretched computer has just changed portaloo again!! }8-{ Plus I have just been trying to find out about whales and dolphins and the world’s ecology so my brain has gone into reverse gear due to too much information, or TMI as my sister has taken to writing. I shall give the portal 2 matter some more thought; perhaps tomorrow while I’m cooling my heels while waiting for the community bus to take me home from Coles, where the prices are going down, down, down, but my grocery bill keeps going up up up. Or should I translate that to iPhone text and write:
        <,<,,>,>? Bon soir mon ami or cheers in ordinary lingo.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Can understand why you couldn’t get through Kenny as it was not the most delicate of subjects about which to make a film My sensibilities must have had a Rostered Day Off as I didn’t have too much trouble seeing it through to the end. Then again I may not have been allocated any sensibilities whenever they happened to be allocated way back then. Unfortunately, I have not spent any more time with the Portal 2 idea as I have still been labouring over the whales and dolphins subject which I am finding very hard to write about.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Well, I have finally thought about a Portal 2 experience 8 Grapes. It happened the other day when I imagined being mysteriously transported to a land where robots did everything. People did not have to do any manual or mental labour of any type. I will not tell you how people managed their lives but will leave it up to you to imagine how that society was organised; and how the incredible wealth created by the robots was shared around amongst the billions that inhabited their society.

      Liked by 1 person

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